((Editor's comments in double parenthesis - Homer))

EXM 64
Being Created and Being Destroyed

12 June 1992

Copyright (C) 1992 A Voice of the Free Zone (Electra)
Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.

The primary ARC Break with being Destroyed is having been Created in the first place. You can only be destroyed if you were created.

Being destroyed is a SOLUTION to being created.

Thetans detest being created. That puts them on an effect point forever more, and leads to no responsibility for no responsibility.

'I had nothing to do with being created, and I had nothing to do with having nothing to do with being created.'

One's Mortal Body is a solution to an Immortal Body that one couldn't stand and couldn't get rid of.

Being created forever is Hell forever.

There is no Heaven great enough that could be given you that would make up for having been created no matter the circumstances or the kindness with which it was done.

Since even a kind God then is the enemy, how much more so is one who made you and placed you on Earth against your will?

In any case your parents had free will on the subject of sex, so even if God made the universe, your parents made you.

This is a piss off of magnitude. Of course it's all wrong, you CHOSE all the way up and down the line. You even chose to not know you chose. But to deal with this takes some measure of ability to confront the preposterous.

Time itself is a solution to the first moment of time where you found yourself created. Worse, you were created in a universe full of people and things trying to destroy you.

The ARC Break is with having been created, but rather than try to deal with what created you, you decided to take off and try to deal with what was trying to destroy you.

The ARC Break you have with things that are trying to destroy you is very secondary to, and takes all its energy from, the primary ARC Break you have with the thing that you consider created you.

Something made you BE, in a universe of things trying to make you NOT BE.

By putting your attention on those things trying to make you NOT BE, you are failing to deal with the thing that made you BE in the first place and which you really hate. This creates time, a moving away, frame by frame, from the original first frame of consternation at having been created without your say so.

Beings seek to be Immortal by destroying what is trying to destroy them, because if you were created you can be destroyed. The way to really re-attain Immortality is to destroy that which is trying to CREATE you, make you BE. But that would have to be an AS-ISness of that thing which created you, now wouldn't it.

YOU CREATED IT 'CREATING YOU!'

So you see the incident of 'being created' has an earlier beginning, you CHOSE to be 'created by something else', there was an aesthetic to it, a beauty to the fraud, a Willingness to be Unwilling, a gorgeousness to the delusion of illusion.

You can't help but be, but its nice to be able to sleep every now and then and be able to recognize your responsibility for what ever dream you are in, so you can leave it or enter it or even change it at will.

As long as you realize that you were not created, then you will not mind all these beings and things trying to destroy you. That's the only game there could be, to kill an Immortal Being. Of course they lose in the end, because you can and will out survive all of them. You made or hired them anyhow.

But if you think you were MADE, then you will resent like crazy all these things trying to destroy you, for one because you think they can, and for two because before that resentment is the earlier resentment towards what CREATED you.

Don't think for a moment that the resentment is because this thing that made you put you in a bad place. Being CREATED is a fundamental violation of Personal Sovereignty. Being raped has nothing to do with having something taken from you, or having someone invade your space against your will. Being raped is being MADE.

That's enough to piss anyone off.

What bigger effect can you be? Here are all these huge other determinisms getting together and deciding to create you out of nothing, or out of parts that could care less.

A moment before you isn't. A moment after, you is.

You are natively a CAUSE. The purpose of a CAUSE is to create EFFECTS.

It is NOT to create other CAUSES.

Perhaps to create the apparency of other causes, but no cause can create a true other cause.

What is cause, is cause. If you are any cause at all, that is proof that you were not created.

You are not just a conglomeration or complexity of other causes, either. That's the delusion of the PhD know-it-alls.

You are CAUSE. That means you revel in the creation of EFFECTS.

Especially effects on yourself.

One of the effects you have indulged in is this illusion that you were created by another cause, God, your parents, the physical universe etc. It's all a lot of bunk. But there is an aesthetic to it.

Preposterous, right?

Good, NOW you are making case gain, and perhaps you can see why no one else is.

Many mortal women detest being women, by the way. Many of them would have preferred to be a male if they had only one life to live.

They will SAY they are glad they aren't a male, but it's usually because men are used as war fodder or are burdened with outrageous responsibilities like a pack animal.

If it weren't for that, many mortal women would have preferred to be a man, given only one life. Since they weren't born a male, their only claim to fame in their OWN eyes is their ability to CREATE a male through their son. ASK THEM, see what they say.

Sometimes they use this ability to CREATE males to the hilt as it is as close to being male as they think they will ever come.

Sometimes after they CREATE a male, born of their own jealousy to BE a male, they will try to discredit it out of that same jealousy. If you can't be it, make it, and then put it down as unworthy of being.

The solution to all this of course is a clear vision of Immortality and personal knowing responsibility for having been a female in the first place with the attendant knowledge that they can be a male again if they should so choose.

But who would want to?

It's hating not having what you would hate having if you had it.

Your average mortal male doesn't want to be a male body either!

Once the dwindling spiral takes hold, being a female is only a safe solution to having been a male just prior, and being a male is a safe solution to having been a female just prior. Around and round we go, never knowing where we've been, where we are, or where we're going. But you know these women who scream about how bad men are? Just check them out AS MEN a few lifetimes back. Same for men that scream about how bad women are. What, they have only lived one life? Well we do wonder why.

The male in this life has experienced 3 general classes of womanhood by the time he dies, Mothers, Wives, and Daughters.

((One can also include Grandmothers and Grand Daughters, and Great Grand Mothers and Great Grand Daughters, etc. Each person's this-life-time track includes a lot of charge on ancestors and heirs, even if he or she never 'met' them. Grandparents for example are part responsible for his parent's nuttiness after all, so the child 'meets' his grandparents in his meeting with his parents.))

These relationships in this life to Mothers, Wives and Daughters, are the DEDEX to the DEDS in his past lives when he WAS a Daughter, Wife and Mother.

Notice that in this life he experiences it as having a Mother, Wife, and Daughter, whereas in the past life he experiences it as being a Daughter, Wife and Mother.

The reversal of order causes an interesting cross over in trying to run the DED - DEDEX sequence.

((Electra talks alot about the Ded/Dedex and Motivator/Overt sequence, and she uses it below. Sometimes it's not so clear why these are labeled the way they are, so I am going to try to explain it here again in a few words. A DED is an overt with NO PRIOR PROVOCATION. Mother is jealous of son as he is growing up and so 'puts him down'. A DEDEX is when someone does that to you as a son in this life. Your mother is jealous of you as a son as you are growing up, and so puts you down. It infuriates you. That's a DEDEX. To the degree that the DEDEX sticks to the son in this life, one would want to look for common DEDS AS A MOTHER in a prior life. The son who is being put down, now feels provoked and kills his mother with a glare or a baseball bat to the head. A sad day to be sure. That's a MOTIVATOR for the mother and a PROVOKED OVERT for the son.

In the mother's next life AS A SON, when she is put down by her mother, she, as the son, will DRAMATIZE the earlier death incident of being killed by her own son in the prior life, and will strike out as the son in this life attempting to kill her present mother.

Thus mother does something to son, that's a DED for the mother. Son does something back to the mother, that's a MOTIVATOR, for the mother. Next life as the son, mother gets it back from her new mother, that's a DEDEX for the son. Then she does to her new mother what her son did to her in the prior life. That's the DRAMATIZED MOTIVATOR or 'MOTIVATED' OVERT for the son.

Thus you get a time sequence that looks like this:

Past Life -------> Future Life

Mother Mother ----> Son Son

DED ---> MOTIVATOR ---> DEDEX ---> OVERT

Mother causes Son to suffer. (Mother's DED)

Mother suffers Son. (Mother's MOTIVATOR)

Mother becomes Son in next Life.

Son suffers Mother. (Son's DEDEX)

Son causes Mother to suffer. (Son's DRAMATIZED OVERT)

Or,

Mother ----> Son (Mother's DED, Son's DEDEX)

Mother <---- Son (Mother's MOTIVATOR, Son's DRAMATIZED OVERT)

Mother becomes Son in next Life

Son <---- Mother (Son's DEDEX, Mother's DED)

Son ----> Mother (Son's DRAMATIZED OVERT, Mother's MOTIVATOR)

DEDEX's only STICK to a being if they have prior common DEDS.

OVERTS only STICK to a being if they have prior MOTIVATORS of which the overt was a DRAMATIZATION.

To stick means TO NOT HEAL.

Sticking only happens when there is a VALENCE SWAP.

In other words what you did as a son to your mother is not enough to make what your mother did to you as a son stick. What you did AS a mother TO A SON, IS enough to make what your mother did to you AS a son stick.

Sticking happens because of REGRET (the effort to turn time back) JUSTIFICATION and RESTRAINT. Where there is no regret, justification or restraint, there will be no sticking.))

AS A MALE IN THIS LIFE RUN,

As a son,

1.) 'Tell me about being a mother.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a mother.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a son.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a son.' (OVERT) (this life)

As a husband,

1.) 'Tell me about being a wife.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a wife.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a husband.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a husband.' (OVERT) (this life)

As a father,

1.) 'Tell me about being a daughter.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a daughter.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a father.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a father.' (OVERT) (this life)

AS A FEMALE IN THIS LIFE RUN,

As a daughter,

1.) 'Tell me about being a father.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a father.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a daughter.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a daughter.' (OVERT) (this life)

As a wife,

1.) 'Tell me about being a husband.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a husband.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a wife.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a wife.' (OVERT) (this life)

As a mother,

1.) 'Tell me about being a son.' (DED) (past life)

2.) 'Tell me about having a son.' (DEDEX) (this life)

3.) 'Tell me about having a mother.' (MOTIVATOR) (past life)

4.) 'Tell me about being a mother.' (OVERT) (this life)

Run them around and around to a major release.

Also,

'Who are you trying to make wrong?'

'How are you trying to make them wrong?'

'What are you trying to make them wrong for?'

'Why are you trying to make them wrong?'

((Notice last two questions are NOT the same. The first asks what

is it about them you are trying to make wrong. The second asks why are

you trying to make that wrong.))

Electra

-----------------------------

SESSION NOTES 6/15/94

((P.S. I just came out of session after having read this for the nth time, preparing to send it.

I ran the following. Looking for major STOP/LFBD reads but taking up all reads of significance, I assessed for,

'Something on being a Mother?'

'Something on not being a Mother?'

'Something on having a Mother?'

'Something on not having a Mother?'

'Something on being a Wife?'

'Something on not being a Wife?'

'Something on having a Wife?'

'Something on not having a Wife?'

'Something on being a Daughter?'

'Something on not being a Daughter?'

'Something on having a Daughter?'

'Something on not having a Daughter?'

'Something on being a Father?'

'Something on not being a Father?'

'Something on having a Father?'

'Something on not having a Father?'

'Something on being a Husband?'

'Something on not being a Husband?'

'Something on having a Husband?'

'Something on not having a Husband?'

'Something on being a Son?'

'Something on not being a Son?'

'Something on having a Son?'

'Something on not having a Son?'

I also had to check Grandmother and Granddaughter a few times to get the others reading again.

Although quite a few of these were charged, the one that seemed to run the longest and deepest was for me, 'Something on not being a father?'

Ran it to an extraordinary release. Very central to the persisting somatics in my throat, nose and face.

Thank you Electra Love, sorry for squirreling your tech!

Homer))



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