((Editor's comments in double parenthesis - Homer))

EXM 42
Engrams and Truth

Copyright (C) 1992 A Voice of the Free Zone (Electra)
Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.

People are suffering from CHAINS of engrams. There are two basic chains of importance, although they never seem to get run in the Church. The first chain is the chain of all engrams caused to you as a Parent by your Children. Child hates you, hits you over the head with a baseball bat, you die. That's a death engram on a chain of death engrams.

The second chain is the chain of all engrams caused to you as a Child by a Parent. Parent hates you, hits you over the head with a baseball bat, you die. That's a death engram on a chain of death engrams.

Then there are all the other chains of engrams that have been caused to you in the course of living either as a parent or a child or any other beingness.

Engrams that have been caused to you are brought into permanent restimulation to justify the engrams you have caused others.

Engrams are also brought into restimulation to restrain yourself from dramatizing other engrams you already have.

As a parent you treat your child like a doll in a doll house.

That's your DED. Suffocating and provoked, your child hits you over the head with a baseball bat and you die. That's your death engram. That's your MOTIVATOR. After you die you also regret mistreating your child. Many life time's later, a parent suffocates and provokes you by treating you like a doll in a doll house. That's your DEDEX. You pick up on your earlier death engram at the hands of your own child in that past life, and you use this 'solution' to your problem with your parents in this life: you hit them over the head with a base ball bat. That's your DRAMATIZATION or OVERT. They die. You regret this. Next life time you have similar parents who treat you like a doll in a doll house. That's another DEDEX. Again you pick up on your death engram as a parent at the hands of your own child and you START to dramatize it as the child. Only this time you remember your regret the last time you dramatized it. So you RESTRAIN completing the action. You STARTED it, you turned it ON, but you didn't complete it, so you never turn it OFF.

Thus you are stuck with a started but incompleted cycle of hitting them over the head with a bat. This leaves you IN the engram of being hit over the head with a bat. Thus you have a chronic headache. Further to HELP you restrain your dramatization you pull in a counter engram caused to you by your parents such as birth. You USE the overwhelming forces in birth to counter and oppose the forces you are trying to dramatize on your parents in hitting them over the head. Thus you now also have birth in restimulation with the resultant chronic anoxia and MORE headaches.

Since your mother gave you a lot of sympathy around birth, you can get more sympathy from mother later by sticking yourself with that birth engram as hard as you can. Since your mother is now being sympathetic and nice to you this also goes to lessen your desire to dramatize hitting her on the head with a bat, which is the REAL agenda to pulling in the birth engram in the first place. The sympathy aspect is an after the fact perk that comes with using the birth engram to keep yourself from killing mommy.

Fear is the result of failed anger. If you get mad at your parents and start calling up a whirlwind of evil to do them in, to cause them to be afraid of you, and for what ever reason you decide in mid stroke that this is not a good idea, YOU will be in the middle of the whirlwind. Usually the whirlwind that children call up to teach their parents a lesson is a serious death engram that their own children COMPLETED on them many life times before as a parent.

If you suffer from evil things coming after you in the night, its only because you called them up to go after your parents, and then changed your mind in mid stride.

Rather than change your mind and put them away, you keep your self in an indecision that leaves all this evil active but still on your side of the fence. Thus it eats you.

It is a memory of a time when it DID eat you, back in a time when your own child had the inclination to follow through on his doing you in.

If you call up a memory of being done in, in order to do someone else in, but then you just sit there in it, of course you will feel like you are being done in.

Thus hideous nightmares come after you in the night, and you have to check under your bed five times before you go to sleep, and you have to sleep with the lights on, and when you get older you freak the hell out on LSD etc. The monsters that are eating you now, were memories of monsters that ate you long ago, which you now called forth to eat your own parents during a moment of anger. You are sitting in the middle of those memories so of course they are still eating you.

The insane, the hallucinating psychotic, whatever is coming after them, they called up to sic on another being and then thought better of it. But they didn't want to close the box once they had opened it because they didn't want to feel the regret. Thus they get caught in a 'It's right, it's wrong' indecision and they go insane.

But this applies to everyone, not just the institutionalized. Some people go crazy, others march off to wars and a greater glory. Others turn to drugs or fantasy or false religions.

Most just raise children that hate them and go to work 9 to 5. Anyone with a psychosomatic condition or any unwanted condition is caught in this trap, and so it needs to be taken apart on everyone.

Only the Completely Gone are free from any unwanted conditions. They are dramatizing without any restraint or regret.

So one way to run this on accessible people, those who know they are in trouble and wish to improve, is,

'What dramatization are you justifying?'

'What dramatization are you restraining?'

'What dramatization have you regretted?'

'What dramatization have you refused to apologize for?'

'What dramatization have you refused to admit you were wrong for?'

You should run this for you as a Child when your Parents dramatized against you, and for you as a Parent, when your Child dramatized against you.

For example,

'What dramatization have you justified as a mother in a past life?'

'What dramatization is a mother justifying in this life?'

'What dramatization has your child justified in a past life?

'What dramatization are you justifying as a child in this life?'

Run 1.) Justify, 2.) Restrain, 3.) Regretted, 4.) Refused Apology for, and 5.) Refused to admit was wrong.

You can also run Service Facsimile Computations in the following manner, however they are after the fact of the above anger/regret cycle and so are a bit late on the chain.

'What have you used to justify not dealing with a child as a parent in a past life?'

'What has a parent used to justify not dealing with you as a child in this life?'

'What has a child used to justify not dealing with you as a parent in a past life?'

'What are you using to justify not dealing with a parent as a child in this life?

Don't forget the remaining 4 flows of the 8 flows of forgetfulness.

BIRTH

DMSMH spent a lot of time talking about birth and running it out. Primal Scream finally admitted that birth was there and the engram during birth set the stage for the person's entire approach to life later. If the baby 'won' by fighting like hell, then he will be a fighter. If the baby was beaten down to apathy by anoxia and 'won' by giving up and letting mother do all the work getting him out, then he will be a passive apathetic person during life.

((This is L. Kin's 2nd postulate, some of which are made by the body during its birth. Good for body group auditing.))

This of course is only true because birth is BROUGHT into restimulation after one of these anger/regret cycles mentioned above, somewhere after the child is able to regret wishing all Hell loose on his parents.

A child is a God of Beauty. What would move him to call up the hosts of Hell on his parents?

Thus if you run out the anger/regret cycle which is the reason for having the birth in restimulation in the first place, along with the whole rest of his track, then his entire engram bank will go out of restimulation and the person will no longer be effected by it, unless he CHOOSES to be.

Most people are way below being able to run out the reason their engrams are keyed in, or so LRH thought. Thus he concentrated on running out the actual engram. I mean its there in present time giving the person a hell of a time, so why not just run it out?

Because the person NEEDS it.

It is almost impossible to run out an engram that the person is using as a safe solution to keep the lid on his own personal Pandora's Box of Evil and Hideous Darkness. The child is PISSED, man. But he also doesn't want to be pissed. It is this conflict between being mad and sad, anger and regret, fury and apology, that keeps the bank ON. The engram bank has come to be a safe solution to both anger and regret. It keeps the guy unable to get angry, it justifies his past angers so that he doesn't have to feel regret, and it gets him sympathy from the people who are pissing him off, so they don't piss him off any more. What a deal.

However as you audit the central trauma on the person's case, his anger/regret/justification/restraint cycles, you will find that these blatant engrams like birth or whatever come to the surface and much of them can be run out Dianetically as engrams, using standard R3R. This is because you have already run out much of the being's need to have them there in the first place. But then they will recess, which means they will go under again and can't be contacted until you blow more of the anger/regret secondaries that are really messing the case up. Having engrams is no big deal. A Clear can have engrams until the cows come home. But a being puts them into chronic restimulation because he needs them as a safe solution to the anger/regret conflict that is destroying his soul.

If the being says 'What anger? What regret?' you know he has done a good job of it.

That's called a 'What Monster?' case. You know, 'What Evil?, What Body Thetans?' Such a being can neither cry nor laugh at will, and will usually be addicted to one or more substances or activities that he uses to fill the Black Hole he calls his Soul.

But there is another problem here with auditing Birth that is also not mentioned in Dianetics. That is, not only have you had many births as a child, but you have also GIVEN BIRTH many times as a mother! As usual you will never run out any chain unless you run the balancing flow.

The important point here is that birth is an engram of magnitude to both mother AND child. It is not an identical engram, although they usually have identical word content as both beings pick up everything that happens during the birth. The more drugged and out cold the mother is, the more drugged and out cold the fetus is too. Thus such birth engrams are killers, once they are brought into play.

There is no such thing as an innocent CHRONIC victim. Because the birth engram happens to both mother and child, and because they are so similar in content, the birth engram you received from and gave to your mother as a child in his life matches up with the birth engram you gave to and received from your child as a mother in a past life!

Thus when you go to audit birth you are auditing two highly intertwined and opposing chains. Chain 1 is the chain of all births you have given as a mother, and Chain 2 is the chain of all births you have received as a child.

Each chain has at least as many engrams as the being has had lives because each life started with a birth engram! The mother chain can have more because mother's often give more than one birth in each life. The engram received by the mother during birth can be fatal and in any case is recorded in both mother AND child as something done to the mother by the child. The engram received by the child during birth can be fatal and is recorded in both mother AND child as something done to the child by the mother.

One way to run this is as follows with special attention given to fatal and near fatal births for either mother or child.

'What have you done to a child during birth as a mother in a past life?'

'What has your mother done to you during a birth as a child in this life?'

'What has a child done to you during birth as a mother in a past life?'

'What have you done to a mother during birth as a child in this life?'

Remember that these engrams will only be available for running out after you have gotten some of the core of evil hate and regret off the case. But once they show up, and they will if you reach tears and anger, these birth engrams should run out easily if you keep all flows going.

As you keep running this stuff you will find that the being has some amazing stuff in restimulation. He has got his whole prenatal track in full bloom, so if he had a mother who tried to abort him, or did drugs, or had sex, or tried to kill herself, or screwed around with other men, or got into fights with dad, or got sick etc, he will have lots more than birth in restimulation. Anything to make mother wrong, and himself safe from impending matricide.

If mother felt the slightest bit sorry for these things that she did, if that regret is recorded IN the engram she caused to her child, then you can bet your pc will be holding on to that part of his track the hardest. That's because the best way to keep himself from murdering mother, is to get himself to LIKE her, and if she is feeling sorry for what she did, boy you can be sure he will like her. Its sort of a second rate affinity, but it works to cool off the matricide.

Sympathy engrams can be deadly. The mother is sticking a knitting needle through the fetus's eyes and spine all the while saying, 'Oh you poor dear thing, I love you so, but I have to do this, you understand don't you, I know I will never forgive myself, its for your own good!' Not only do the words get recorded in the engram, but so does mother's tears and love for the unborn child.

It's not the words that are important, its the feelings implied by the words and the tone with which they are said. Its also the feelings implied by the actions taken. If the actions and the words are in conflict the engram can be hell to get rid of.

Mainly the pc has to realize there IS a conflict and that mother was a bit loopy on 'what was good for the child'.

Her love for the child is greatest and most expressed at the very moment she is trying to kill it!

You can be sure that the child will be using this engram to the hilt to get mother to love him again and feel sorry for all the mean things that the mother is doing to him.

You see the FETUS LIVED THROUGH THE ABORTION! So your pc will be walking around with holes burning through him and his spine all out of whack, just knowing that mommy loves him like he is, sick, dead and dying.

Electra



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