And here we have the list of the best Rock -n- Roll bands or musicians ever to record an album, according to me, in no particular order.

1. The Ramones: While they didn't invent Punk rock (that dubious honor probably belongs to The Stooges or MC5), they are directly responsible for it becoming what it did in the late 70's. Reacting to what rock had evolved into, an overblown corporate nightmare (see: Peter Frampton; Emerson, Lake, and Palmer), The Ramones returned rock to how it was originally intended--short, fast, and out of control. If you have a guitar solo longer than 15 seconds, you are simply wasting time.

Must hear: The Ramones, Rocket to Russia, Road to Ruin.

2. The Beatles: Duh. Of the eternal Beatles/Stones dichotomy, I have always been a solid Beatles man. There isn't really much to say. They are just the best.

Must hear: Rubber Soul, The White Album.

3. The Clash: Direct descendants of The Ramones, The Clash were a bunch of incredibly articulate, English, politico punks who had the audacity to release their triple Sandinista album for the price of a single album, just to stick it to The Man. Referred to, at some point, as "The only band that ever mattered." Their masterpiece London Calling successfully fuses punk, jazz, ska, reggae, and blues while still kicking your ass.

Must hear: The Clash, London Calling.

4. Liz Phair: Yeah, she only has three albums, but Exile in Guyville is so durned good that if she never released another album again, she would still be one of the best rock acts ever. Absolutely brilliant lyrics, sketchy but incredibly vital vocals, and sparse yet effective tunes. Angst has rarely ever sounded so good. Update for 2003: Yeah, ok, Liz Phair's new album Liz Phair is, in fact, kind of a travesty. A third of the album is produced by The Matrix, who produced Avril Levine (a perfectly respectable faux-punk pop act who gets points for being a young woman in pop music who doesn't dress like a hooker...), and as such, sounds, well, just like Avril Levine. Which is weird and wrong. And another third of the album is produced my Michael Penn, Amie Mann's husband. So Liz sounds just like Aime Mann, which isn't that bad, but if I want to listen to Amie Mann, I'll put on my Amie Mann albums. There are a couple songs that are produced by Liz, and one in particular, Love/Hate, is pretty good. 'Cause it sounds like Liz Phair, rather than a bunch of folks who aren't Liz Phair. I can't with good concience reccomend Liz Phair (the album, not the musician), but I still kinda like Extraordinary and Love/Hate sounds like something off of Whip-Smart. Oh, Liz. What are you doing?

Must hear: Exile in Guyville.

5. Peter Gabriel: As the front man of Genesis in the early 70's, he was responsible for the best of the music that The Ramones were reacting against. His early 80's solo albums are filled with incredibly vivid, surreal, clever music. Sadly, in the early 90's, he apparently had a lot of therapy, and decided to "take off his masks" and sing honestly about his feelings. Those masks and his obscurity were what made him so good. Update for 2003: Yeah, is last album, Up, I found incredibly forgettable. I think I listened to it completely, like, once. You'd think someone would have warned him not to name one of the songs The Barry William's Show (which is, song wise, very obvious and incredibly, like, 5 years ago), 'cause of Barry Williams' Greg on the Brady Bunch. Heck--he could have changed the name at the second to, like, The Larry William's Show, and spared himself the grief. But it wouldn't have really improved the song so much.

Must hear: Peter Gabriel III (the melty face one), Security, So.

6. Kate Bush: The female counterpart to Peter Gabriel, Kate was a whirlwind of deranged lyrics and inconceivable vocals. Her tales of spousal murder, drowning, and government conspiracies are unparalleled in popular music. Way ahead of her time, and opened the door for the likes of Tori Amos, Sarah McLachlan, and any other non-folky solo rock woman.

Must hear: Never for Ever, The Dreaming, Hounds of Love.

7. Talking Heads: The premiere avant-garde rock band, made of a bunch of art school geeks in New York. Singing about serial killers, buildings, and food (thus the name of their second album...) with great rock rifts. That, and David Byrne is a total character. Everyone should be required to see Stop Making Sense, the greatest concert movie of all time.

Must hear: Talking Heads '77, Remain in Light, Fear of Music.

8. David Bowie: Up until the second half of Let's Dance, Bowie was a non stop master of rock-n-roll, and a total freak to boot. His crazed, completely over the top rock "personas" only made him that much cooler. He spent the mid 70's with Iggy Pop (virtually one of the best rock acts ever--I had to get him in here somewhere) co-writing many of Iggy's best songs (Iggy's version of China Girl is vastly superior to Bowie's). Few other musicians could convince 14 year old boys that cross dressing is cool as effectively as Bowie.

Must hear: Hunky Dory, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, Low.

9. Sleater-Kinney: A trio of post punk rock chicks who simply destroy all in their path. Corrin Tucker, Carrie Brownstein, and Janet Weiss weave tales of love gone bad, singing choppy harmonies that drip with luscious venom. Every song they have ever recorded is pure gold. It is an absolute shame that as few people know about them as they do (although if fewer people in NYC knew about them, I might have been able to get tickets to their most recent tour...). Update 2003: Their last album, One Beat, as opposed to all the other update albums, was really good. 'Cause Sleater-Kinney still are one of the best bands ever. And I finally got to see them, for free, at Coney Island last summer.

Must hear: Call the Doctor, The Hot Rock.

10. The Pixies: A sorely under appreciated band that tore up the music scene of the late 80's with dada-esque proto alt rock. Their cover of In Heaven (the lady behind the radiator song) from David Lynch's Eraser Head can give you nightmares. Kim Deal, who is a dynamo of rock genius, started out in this here band. Yeah, I saw them once in, like, '88 as an opening band (for They Might Be Giants), and I thought they sucked (I think Black Francis was drunk...), and bad mouthed them constantly up until I got into The Breeders, at which point I realized the error of my ways.

Must hear: Surfer Rosa, Doolittle, Last Splash (the Breeders)