Z    I    P    O
BY: KILLO ZAPIT


1-Alpha
 
     
     In the vast reaches of time and space there is a planet in
which man has forgotten. On this planet the last of the people
have been in a Dark Age for 1,000 yaers. The men on this planet
had no computers (boy I'd hate it there) or guns. In fact, they
were knights (COOL!). Mental Powers and Orbs were populer (Orbs
took the place of TV).  

     Once, under a sign, in a quiet little town there 
was a boy who was called Zipo Wipo, Zipo had black hair 
that didnt't stop sticking up! His eyes were blue and 
his skin was tan. He was 8. Anyways, Zipo had lost his 
father about 4 years ago (bummer ain't it?).  
     
     He was an apprentice to a Mental Master called "The Boss" 
(Mental Masters were the wizards of those times). 
The Boss sent Zipo into the woods to get some firewood.  Zipo 
suddenly cane across an imp (a imp looks like a little elf with 
bat wings but is really a bird).  The imp started to talk 
(it's about time we got some dialect in here, isn't it?). 
The imp said, "So you are Zipo.  I have been looking for you for
about ten years".  Zipo said, "Why?" in a very tiny, small, shy
voice.  The imp said, "Because your father said so, that's why". 
Zipo said, "You know my father? What 'appened to him?".  "Your
father was cast down into the big underground", explained the
imp.  "Where's that?" inquired Zipo.  "I forgot." said the imp,
"But you can follow my robin.  He knows the way".  

     After the robin was released from his cage, Zipo ran after
it, forgetting about the firewood, forgetting about The Boss,
forgetting what insanity means.  All he remembered was that he
had to find his father.  finally, after many leagues he cane to
the entrance of the underground and quietly stepped inside.


2-Tetrahedron

     
     As Zipo entered, the robin flew in and disappeared.  Zipo
looked around.  There was nothing except for a few minor objects
such as a torch (which he put with a tinder box he had in his
pocket.   You never know when a good tinderbox will come in
handy.), some blank pieces of paper (which would be good for
marking maps), and a little golden ball (which he couldn't figure
out what it was good for but he decided to keep it anyway). 
 
     He looked about for the robin.  He could not find it
anywhere in the dark murky underground.  Then he remembered about
the firewood he was to gather for "The Boss".  "No sense trying
to gather some now", he said quietly to himself.  He also had a
funny thought in his head. "If there is no one else in this huge,
gigantic mind boggling place then why am I talking so quietly".  

     "While I'm here", he said, "I might as well explore".  He
headed basically north until he found some more of those handy
discarded but not particularly unuseful items.  for example, one
very useful item was a key.  Yes, you heard me correct, a key.  A
red key, as a matter of fact, with deeply dented areas.  He
continued east until he cane to a massive door with a bizzare
symbol on it that looked like a popscicle stick.

     He opened the door to find a man in a red cloak.  The robin
was gently resting on his shoulder.  In the man's hand he had an
oracle of salutation (an oracle of salutation is a miraculous
device.  It looks like a crystal  It can be used for anything
from a walkie talkie to a strange device which can rearrange the
adams in a book so the pages are completely black).  

     The man said, "Hi! Welcome to the Great Underworld.  I'm
sorry but your father died from lead poisoning and old age some
weeks ago.  Oh No,  it couldn't have been lead poisoning.  It was
grafite poisoning.  He as stabbed in the back with a pencil".  

     Zipo was silent.  "He wanted me to give this oracle of
salutation to you.  Now remember, you have a limited amount of
energy to use, and refills are hard to find".  Zipo looked at the
robin resting on the man"s shoulder and then looked back at the
man.  The man said, "Are you mute? I'm very sorry if you are
...".  "No, I'm not mute!!"  Zipo yelled.  The man said "Oh well
... then ... Oh".  

     The man sat down in a chair, next to a table with an orb on
it.  Zipo sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the table
and said "Oh grape, you have an orb.  Let's see what's on saturday
night cinema tonight".  The man said "there are two reasons why
we can't do that.  The first reason is that this orb can only 
show one specific piece of history.  The second reason is that
it's not saturday".  Zipo looked into the orb.  Suddenly, it all
becane very clear.  The history of the planet was revealed.

     The planet, whose people had become very bored, had decided
to move into three great cities.  The city of Power (made of
Rubies), Wisdom (made of Sapfire), and Courage (made of
Emeralds).  All were discovered by luck chance.  This
civilization did well until one day when some idiot from the 
planet Tordor encased the cities in a volcanic bubble, under the
ground!  Three pieces of the cities, one from each city, were
lost in the volcanic bubble we now know as the Underworld, or
were they?  This planet was called Earth.


     "The pieces of the cities, called Tetrahedrons (for some weird
reason), must be found. here is one of them." said the man whose
name was Vindon Thestupidguy by the way. "UUUUOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAA"
said a hostel goblin who just happened to sneak in the open door,
"WA????" said zipo. the man said "Ort Grite" and the oracle of
salutation lit up and blasted the enemy to death. "So that's how
this thing works!!" said zipo "Yes, it was made before the cites
were destroyed." The Tetrahedron glowed red. "This is the Tetrahedron
of power. the Tetrahedrons of Wisdom and Courage are lost. Your dad
only recovered this one. When they are all collected we well have
enough power to use the Grape Computer and get off this planet!"


     As Zipo existed the home of Vindon, he found two keys. One
was a normal key, but the second was weird. It had a rectangle
with a slit in it for the handel, and a cylinder with a small
spoke where you put it in a key-hole (a Computer-key). then he
cane across a outcast named Boyamidumb. "Hi!" he said. "Hi, can
you help me?" said zipo, who looked up at Boyamidumb (who was
very tall...or was it that Zipo was short?). "Yes, I can. here's
a piece of advice: most nice people have towns which have the
banner of Tristuff (a picture of a Tetrahedron) and some very bad
people have towns under the banner of the Evil Guys (three red
stars)." 


     Zipo found 100 coins which he traded along with his gold
ball, a gem, a gold cup, 100 more coins, for the Tetrahedron of
Wisdom!!! the Tetrahedron of Courage was lost, but, he had a hunch
it would be at the bottom of this stair case...and it was but a
Mad Mage was waiting for him! luckily Zipo pressed a button and a
rock landed on his hade reveled the Tetrahedron of Courage! 
Unfortantely, the button was destroyed and now the stair case was
full of traps. Zipo made it, but the Underworld had a cavein! The
humans were in the "Computer Room" which was really a space sip
called Xomnhy. After the Computer-key was put in the Computers
main keypad locker, Xomnhy wet to find the lost space station
Whatisthat. 


3-Whatisthat


     After a nice friendly welcome from killer Trinain fighter
(and, no I will not tell you were the planet Trinea is) Zipo
quietly ran to the bathroom because he was feeling so nervous
that he though he might have some outcast liquids escape from he
stomach. Meanwhile the rest of the crew were tying to figure out
how to sneak by the rest of the Trinen space ships so they could
get to Whatisthat in a hurry. As Zipo exited the bathroom feeling 
much relieved that he what he thought he would do wasn't what he 
did. So at that moment, he was rather surprised to find that another
person was anxiously waiting for the bathroom with a hand over
his mouth. "Bumpy ride" he said as he entered the main bridge. He
didn't get any reply thou since almost every one was anxiously
waiting with a hand on there mouths for the bathroom to be free.
The other people (including the ships computer) was explaining to
everyone about how bad a head ache that had (this was some what
odd for the computer since technically it didn't have a head).

     At last Whatisthat the finest space station in all
of...um...space. Yhea space! When the ship approached it, it was in
for a rather shocking surprise. "Whip feet and abandon hope
before entering" a computer relayed voice from Whatisthat
informed them. Zipo soon said "I'll wipe my feet, but, well as
for the abandoning hope, well I did that a long time ago so that
shouldn't be a problem". Zipo entered Whatisthat, ready to be
blown into molecules but for some odd reason, the blast from the
guard bounced off Zipo's Oracle, back to the Guard and OOps, Bye
Bye Guard. Zipo thought to himself, pondered to himself, this one
simple question: "Why am I here anyway"? His answer cane about
one second later after he repeated it allowed. "So  I can kill
you" shouted a gruff voice from behind. It kind of sounded like a
swamp creature. It was. It was a Toadorin caption. Luckily Zipo
remembered the two spacial word that activated the KILL-O-ZAP-IT
adaptor on his Oracle. Before the Toadorin could realize what
happened, he no longer had a opportunity to.

And so Zipo reentered his little space ship and proceeded to a
planet called Armageddon.

4-Armageddon


     In the Tips section of the Programmers Computer Library,
there was a way to get the Toadorin Hi Command to stop being nice
to you. This is good because the Toadorin Hi Command might sing
to you if you don't (Toadorin singing is the worse singing in the
known universe). It is a simple program in Qbasic:

DO
SOUND 3000, 10000
LOOP

It annoys them so badly that they don't sing to you! but the
problem comes here: you can never get to live long enough to get
it into their computer (because of the massive defensive systems
that can zap an entire planet into oblivion using only the power
of a flash light battery)!

     Zipo was currently on a mission to get the program into the
Toadorian Computer so the crew could get into Armageddon without
being sang at.   

     Zipo was feeling pretty bored right now because the main
Toadorian Computer was thousands of light years away on the
planet GooGalPlex, so he used his free time exploring the space
ship for the millionth time.  The only exciting thing he had been
doing was cataloging the cargo. Zipo cataloged some old stuff,
including a magazine, a paper that said "BUG off! YOU BRAINLESS...BUG!" 
(in micro print), and the book How to Say Hi.  

     five weeks later... Zipo arrived at the planet GooGalPlex
(you can tell this space ship travels very fast).  "Man battle
stations" says the Captain, "Or better yet, man the cloaking
device! Oh...(I didn't mean to be sexist,)...Women them too!"".  

     There was a little uproar as one of the crew men said "What 
cloaking device".  They approached the planet very silently and 
realized the why the planet had three capital letters.  There 
were actually three planets lined up in a row, Goo, Gal and Plex. 
"HELP!" said the captain.  The whole spaceship was in panic,
people bumping into each other, people turning the gravity thing
off and on, and that annoying little venus fly trap that kept
biting the legs of people when it cane to close.  

     The people of Plex decided not to activate their zap ray,
but decided to watch and see what chaos the little spaceship
could stir up for itself. Goo and Gal followed with Plex's
example.  With all the chaos that was created on the spaceship,
Zipo and his good friend, that guy in the red cloak, beamed off
to the surface of Plex to add the program to the main Toadorin
Computer.  for some reason, they didn't run into any trouble and
added the program quickly.  When they executed it, a ear
screeched BEEP echoed through the halls, for this is what the
program was designed to do.  The program executed itself through
every known Toadorin Computer in existence.  The word known as
BEEP would always ring in Toadorin ears until someone would go
near to their computer and press the reset button.  Hopefully,
nobody would brave their speaker until they got to Armageddon.

     Zipo arrived at Armageddon one week later.  As the ship got
closer to the nearly dead planet, Zipo asked his friend this
question "Why did we come to Armageddon anyway?".  His friend
answered "To kill the Toadorin Ultimate Command".  Zipo asked
"Why do we have to do that?". "BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT YOUR
PLANET IN A DARK AGE AND STOLE THE SUPER COMPUTER X-INF!". X-INF
is the only thing that can get Earth out of the dark age.  
     
     "Welcome to someplace in the middle of nowhere" an evil
voice BEEPED over communication channel # 1 of 3000, "Oh, I'm
sorry, did I say welcome? I meant unwelcome".  "Hello?" said Zipo
over the relay communicator. "Don't bother" cane the interesting
and rude reply.  A ZAP ray cane from behind them, which was
strange because there didn't seem to be any ship their.  of
course you are thinking "Cloaking Device"..Wrong!! There really
wasn't any ship there.  What was there was a ZAP Ray that went
from the planet, through a wormhole and ended up behind Zipo's
ship, hitting it from the opposite direction.  So the ZAP Ray
turned out not to be the typical KILL-O-ZAP-IT ray at all.  It was a
ZAP ray that deleted all the files on the ship computer, and THEN
killed them.  Luckily, they passed through a wormhole that made
them crash on Armageddon.  Unluckily, the Toadorin Hi Command,
who had (luckily for them) left their computers off while
Zipo run the BEEP program, started singing to them. Here is a
little portion of that song, the rest is to terrible to mention. 

"OH, BA BA BA! fOR THE BA BA BAS `CAUSE fOR SOME REASON I FORGET,
DIE DIE DIE YOU DIE DIE DIES `CAUSE fOR SOME REASON I REGRET!."

"OH HI HI HI TO HI HI HIES `CAUSE fOR MY SHOES of BAD CEMENT, 
WHY WHY WHY DO YOU WHY WHY WHY `CAUSE fOR SOME REASON I LAMENT!"

     After the whole song was done, Everyone was screaming from
high misery and torture to which the Toadorin Hi Command said "Oh
you like it! Would you like to hear it again?"  With that, Zipo
and his crew ran away screaming.

     Zipo bumped into a dark hooded humanoid rider.  Zipo jumped
backwards in surprise.  He felt like he was 150 years old and
about to die of a heart attack.  He soon recovered.  The darken
hooded figure ripped off his hood to reveal a head of blue fire
with red eyes that lit the darkness that surrounded them.  "SO,
Zipo" said the evil one "I bet you don't know that I killed your
father".  It then through a blood stained pencil at Zipo.  Zipo
dogged the pencil, picked it up a started attacking the monster
with it. "HA Ha Ha... no living creature can destroy me without
the Sword of Power! I've even tried to commit suicide once, at
that didn't work" said then fire creature.  "Oh, you mean this?"
said Zipo as he drew out the Sword of Power.  "Yes that...WHAT!!
HOW DID YOU GET THAT ?!?". asked the fire thing Zipo replied "I
just did, OK?". "OOOOOHHHHHAAAA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ANYWAY!!!"
explained the fat-fire.   With that the small piece of hell
charged at Zipo.  Zipo sliced and sliced until he has
extinguished it.  Zipo then picked up the cloak of courage and
was turning to go when POW!! a big blue fire ball (which was the
thing he had just extinguished) was shooting little fire balls at
him from behind. After he beat that creature, he received the
shield of wisdom, which was very odd since the creature had the
brains of a gnat.  

     At long last, after revenging his fathers death, but not
finding the Toadorin Ultimate Command, they repaired their ship
and headed off to the planet Toador.

5-Wort

     In the depths of time and space, and everything like that,
their was once a kid name Zipo.  Again.  This kid named Zipo was
about to have one of his hypo-spasms while suddenly entering a
planet's atmosphere by accident.  He was also about to have his
ship collide suddenly with the planet causing a big explosion
which resulted in the destruction of half his ship (in others
words he crashed big time).  Once he had calmed down, and
discovered nobody was in the half of the ship that was destroyed
except for an enemy hitchhiker, he began to explore the planet he
had just caused a big explosion on.  He gathered up his friends,
including that cool dude with the red cloak, and the captain, who
almost decided not to go because he wanted to plan a funeral
service for his ship.

     They had not gone very far when they ran into Cadorians. 
Cadorians are nice and friendly if you give them money, otherwise
they are mean and hostile as Toadorins.  Cadorians are about the
size of pre-Kers except for the Cadorian Prime Ministers which
are slightly taller because they have been mutated for super
strength.  "Surrender to the Cadorian Empire" said a little
humanoid cadorian who was with about nine others. "Lets go
bowling.  You're in the perfect position for it" said Zipo.  Zipo
was absolutely right.   They were perfectly lined up like bowling
pins.  "What's bowling?", said the Cadorian.  "I'll show you",
said Zipo.  Zipo then picked up a round rock and threw it in the
Cadorian's face knocking down all nine of them.  "STRIKE!", said
Zipo, throwing his arms in the air, jumping for joy.  Some other
Cadorians, that had been watching from secret observing cameras
in the tree, were planning new attack positions and teaching
their kids how to play bowling.  

      
     Meanwhile on Toador, Wort, who was the Toadorin Ultimate
Command, was in the process of planning a new gigantic space
robot to track down and destroy Zipo and his friends.  If fact,
he was planning five robots.

     Zipo found a paper in a pack that a Cadorian had dropped.    
It said: "On Xoon, A planet 7.8 billion Light Years from Cador,
The Ualtama has been located." cool dude with the red cloak
(whose name was Vindon Thestupidguy in case you forgot, I'm using
Vindon from now on) said "WHAT!! THE UALTAMA IS MORE POWERfUL
THEN ALL THE TETRAHEDRONS!!! WE CAN'T LET WORT GET IT!!" They ran to
the space pod, "Asonmto" they had stolen. They barely made it to
Astoron (I mean Cadorians have good blasters, they can kill a
galaxy just which 1 VOLT of ENERGY)! after that, S.E.A. (Space 
Explorers Association), C.C. (Crab Community) and, M.C.C (Master 
Control Counsel) oh and I forgot, X.E. (Xborgin empire) sent Zipo 
and Vindon to stop Wort with the Ualtama. The M.C.C. & X.E. 
said to go to Toador and blow the planet up!

     Zipo was reading a old book about Ancient Earth Stuff he had
came across a entry called The Legend of ASCII it went like this:


ASCII:

British Army intelligence people during World War 2 figured out
how to make their computers work with letters and words as well
as numbers.  This was done by giving number codes for each
letter. This technology allowed the British to crack intercepted
German coded messages. After that, computers got smaller, more
powerful, and faster. 

(see British Army, German, & World War 2)


     It was vary bold print. So bold in fact, you thought it
would charge at you!  Zipo then tried to find the "see" entrees.

At Toador, Zipo grabs his weapons and Vindon got the BLAST-BOMB
ready. 100,000,000 Toadorins appeared! Zipo killed them all in a
hour (hay, Toadorin soldier are wimps). Suddenly, Wort came!
Now, Wort is no wimp! He was the strongest thing in the known
Universe!!! Wort ran at Zipo and Vindon, made Vindon drop and
light the bomb so the planet EXPLODED!!!

Zipo woke up. "What a nightmare" he said. He looked at his digial 
watch. "12:00. Better go back to bed." he said, relieved to be in his
little hut in a little town in the dark-ages.

TTTTTTT H  H EEE   EEE N   N  DD
   T    HHHH E     E   NN  N  D D
   T    H  H EEE   EEE N N N  D  D
   T    H  H E     E   N  NN  D D
   T    H  H EEE   EEE N   N  DD