The Church Of Spiritual Enlightenment, ADVANCED COUNSELING SERVICES, INC.
FEAR and LOSS
These two items are tied, not just in your case, but in any case, (which means every case).
One cannot have LOSS if one never had the item in the first place.
Although it is a horrible thing, one tends to attempt to possess another (as if a being were a "thing"). Then, when the item (person, place, thing, subject) is no longer accessible, one experiences (dramatizes) LOSS.
But what motivated possession of the item in the first place?
It apparently "gave" one HAVINGNESS.
Havingness is defined as "the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal (...of Freedom=Happiness)".
When one ceases to "have" the item, not only does one experience LOSS, but one is now unable to predict future (FEAR).
If one cannot well predict future (FEAR), one questions his or her ability to overcome barriers and obstacles, and as the spiral continues downwardly, one "suffers (dramatizes)" LOSS.
Conversely, if one suddenly and unpredictably experiences an absence of an item, one has lost a STABLE DATUM (LOSS), which re-inforces the consideration of "inability to predict the future", and one immediately experiences (dramatizes) FEAR.
The whole thing centers around the consideration that "I HAVE" the item.
One cannot "have" another person, place, subject.
One simply experiences them.
And, when the experience is complete (whether on one's "terms" or not - although life is always on "one's terms" - one simply would rather not perceive his or her own causation, and blithely "blame" it on "other" causes=God, the weather, Kismet, Fate, Chaos, Happenstance, Cancer, An Accident, Serendippity, Synergy, Karma, etc., etc., etc. ad nauseam), the experience is complete.
MUST and MUST NOT HAPPEN are rooted in FEAR, LOSS, IMPORTANCE ("Importance" translates as "vital to survival" in the reactive mind) and UNIMPORTANCE.
Although one might perceive it as something which can be handled in a couple of hours, these themes run through all of your auditing/counseling. Taking the opportunity to look over the things which one regrets, or would love to have the chance to do again, or not do again, it is obvious you wiould agree. One's attempts to "integrate" are simply efforts to reconcile the "irreconcilable" - to comprehend the "incomprehensible".
These things are to be confronted. They cannot be "reasoned" with. There is no "reasoning the irrational".
What we are speaking about here can, and usually does require several hours of confronting, understanding and draining of all emotional content connected with those items, for most cases.
These are not quick fixes - not by the barest stretch of the imagination.
The "quick fix" might be the ELL's. And these three lists run approximately 25 hours each on a very well setup case.
The ELL's, of course, save years and years of auditing time. Thus their "expense".
Please read the above (clearing any uncertain or unknown words) until you have complete understanding of what I have written. It might save you many hours in the chair.
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© Copyright 1986, 1998 by The Church of Spiritual Enlightment, Advanced Counseling Services, Inc. (A California Non-Profit Corporation) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ACCESS® and TEC are trademarks relating to certain discoveries and applications of religious-philosophic procedures developed by LaMont Johnson.
This website was last edited on Sunday, December 20, 1998 07:57:34 PM