Brown & Michaels

Weird and Wonderful Patents

Over the years, inventors have tried to solve many of the problems of daily life. Who could forget these vital advances to the state of the art?

Medical || Life's Comforts || Transport || Just Fun
Death and Taxes || Trademarks || Links

The better mousetrap...

Tinkle, Tinkle Little Rat how I wonder where you're at?

Medical Advances(?)

Reminder and Enforcer Apparatus - does your kid forget to wear his braces? No problem, just implant an alarm in his mouth...
Use of Odorants to Treat Male Impotence - cheaper than Viagra(r), but watch out where you take your dates...
Method of Collecting, Identifying and Quantifying Saliva - Hey kids, collect the whole set!
Did you ever see They Stole Hitler's Brain? Well, now you can do it too!
Ooops! Here it comes! Makes giving birth a whirl!
Are your gums strong? Exercise your teeth with a friend.

Life's Little Comforts

Forehead Support Apparatus - mounts to the wall above a urinal, for those times you just can't stand it...
Cheese and pepperoni and cheese... a pizza arranged concentrically.
This one's bound to cut down on smoking - a cheese flavored cigarette.
Start 'em young. A Walkman(r) for the unborn...
A floating umbrella for those sunny days we never get in upstate New York.
Aaaaaargh!!! Ever felt like screaming? Now you can!
Don't ask for whom the bell tolls... Keep track of your time... left
A little thin on top? This inventor has the solution...
Wake UP! "Device for Waking Persons from Sleep" (1882)
Right in Der Fuhrer's Face! A design patent from World War II.
Want to stop sucking your thumb? Here's the candy for you!

The Fun is in Getting There - Transportation Improvements(?)

Mommy, he's touching me! - the perfect solution for little brothers...
The ultimate in pollution reduction! A smoke-consuming locomotive from 1894.
Jet propelled train runs on Teflon teeth.
What's wrong with this picture? A system for hovering flight using two airplanes.
George who? A little-known episode in the history of the automobile.
A train for those with one-track minds.

Just For Fun - The Pursuit of Happiness

First the Groucho Nose, now the Elvis Sideburns!
Wear your hamster! A combined pet cage and vest.
For Hot Jazz - a combination trumpet and flamethrower!
Booo! A toy just in time for halloween.
Look at me, I'm FLYING! A "levitationarium" for human beings.
Gggggeeee wwwwwhaaaattt fffffuuunnn!!! The ultimate pogo stick...
Fool those ducks! "Combined Camouflage and Decoy"
Swords into plowshares not enough choice for you? Have both at once! "Combined Plow and Gun" (1862)

Weird and Wonderful Trademarks, too...

Ol' Paul Bunyan was a trademark first...
You might want to think twice about buying this for a feminist.
It's popular in Europe, but somehow it's unlikely to catch on here...

Death and Taxes...

Ashes to ashes and dust to what??
"I hear a sound! Quick, Watson, grab a shovel..." - A device for signaling from the grave.
A new idea in interior decoration! "Method of Preserving the Dead" (1903)

Links to more Weird and Wonderful sites...

About.com's Wacky Patents Links page - including a link back to here.

Gallery of Obscure Patents - on the Delphion (formerly IBM) Patent Server.

Patently Absurd - A British site, with weird and wonderful patents from "across the pond".

Patent o'the Week - Still more weird patents, including some which are, shall we say, X-rated.

Totally Absurd (tm) - "a hilarious look at goofy inventions"

Want copies of any of these patents? You can download images of them using the patent number from the USPTO website (you'll need a free TIFF viewer program). They're also available for $3.00 each from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, Box 9, Washington, DC 20231. Or, fax an order to the Patent and Trademark Office at 703-305-8759 - include a credit card number, expiration date, and signed authorization to charge your credit card account.

Even if your idea isn't as novel or useful as these, you should keep its protection in mind. Brown and Michaels has helped many inventors to obtain patents, and we look forward to working with you.

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