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La recherche du temps perdu
by Phil Spickler
16 Aug 99

Friends, past and present:
        On hearing Angelique, AKA Pam Percy, reminiscing with Alan Walter
about some of the amazing times and experiences enjoyed (mostly) at St. Hill
in the early '60's and during the presence of the living, breathing L. Ron
Hubbard, as a fellow (if somewhat later) St. Hiller, fond and not-so-fond
memories of peoples and procedures floated up for my entertainment from that
amazing period of time in my life.

       As was noted by both of the previously-mentioned illuminated ones, it
was a time of goals and clearing.  Implant goals was I believe the subject,
and it was possible to achieve fairly  high number of goals Clear --  I seem
to remember someone possibly even attaining to the amazing heights of 12-goal
clear.  I also remember, and have experienced myself, vomiting on the
auditing table, or on the auditor's lap if without table, if things weren't
going quite as well as they might have.

       Myselves arrived at St. Hill Manor on June 13, 1963, after having
discovered, in the process of receiving a Purpose Intensive, a marvelous pair
of goals that explained and resolved so much of what I used to consider was
"me" and "my life" that I was now a Goals Clear, and roaming the universe
with newfound freedoms that had only been previously hinted at.

       I felt encouraged by what I heard about that which was going on at St.
Hill to go for the training and the co-auditing, under the misapprehension
that more is always better.  Bozhe moy!  (That's Russian for My God!)  Or Oy
veh -- that's Yiddish for Oh, woe!  Anyhow, I was once again in the hands of
L. Ron Hubbard and his merry staff of implanters (hi, Herbie!) and the
redhead had just announced, in a lecture around that very same date, that all
the charge of all the implant goals put together was not equal to the charge
of one reliable item in one of the guy's own, non-implanted, goals; and in
that one lecture managed to invalidate all the high-number goal clears that
were popping around in those days and in a sense put out a call to get them
to return to St. Hill, where they could finally run "real" goals.  And so
things went from very light to very heavy again.

       And it wasn't until quite  few years later that someone had a
cognition that was true for someone, which seemed to explain what the
fundamental liability was in fooling around with GPMs, implanted or
otherwise.  The key to all this seemed to be in a good understanding of a
very early concept, which had to do with getting the correct source or the
correct ownership of any given creation if you really wanted to understand
it, uncreate it, extend it, etc. etc.; and without correct ownership you
could spend a lifetime, off-source so to speak, making things a lot more
solid and finding endless chunks of mass and energy to audit, mostly to no
lasting avail.

       This I think is one of the reasons why the first version or early form
of NOTs was so enormously successful for the folks that were lucky enough to
get it.  More on that in a moment.

      For anyone that's not real familiar with what goals auditing is all
about, and we're referring to Goals Problems Mass technology, I shall
endeavor in a few sentences to give the general idea.

       Let us start with Prime Source, the Static, the undifferentiated point
of nothingness that is nowhere and everywhere, from which all emanates, and
for the sake of this talk, hoping not to insult any Platonists or
Neo-platonists in the audience, the Creator of everything.  And let's just
say this includes goals which exist in the form of just free-floating ideas,
like the goal to catch catfish, which is just a floating idea which has no
mass and no motion as yet.

         Now let's suppose one of us, as a viewpoint extended from the
Creator, grabs that idea and says, "That's my goal!  And by gum, by golly, I
intend to pursue it to its final accomplishment."  And of course that
intention puts a lot of fire and energy and horsepower into that goal now.
In fact, it puts enough in there to make it timeless -- it could go on
forever.  But in order for a goal to be worth its weight in divisions of TA
down, and so that it won't be accomplished in one instant, it absolutely has
to have somebody else on the scene who has snatched out of thin air a goal or
a purpose that truly opposes the first one, and that has just as much
intensity and just as much sense of accomplishment in it as you could ever
imagine.  And bang! these two come together (talk about magnetism!).  (This
sort of thing, as you may have already divined, makes for holy hell on the
second dynamic or in a thing called marriage if it goes unnoticed by  the
folks who are intending to live happily ever after.  Talk about disharmony!)

       These opposites, of course, do give us time and existence, and what
happens in the course of time in a full-fledged goal- oppose is that the two
folks, each with a different goal, keep hacking away at one another, each
attempting to overcome the opposition in an effort to achieve the goal.  But
since there is an unpleasant tendency to become that which you resist or
oppose, Bozhe moy (that's Russian for My god!)  Since there is this tendency,
each side of this goal-oppose starts taking on the characteristics of the
other, until finally, over perhaps a very long time, the two original
characters in this drama go through something called the crossover.  This is
a sort of a midpoint where each is about 50-50, namely, 50% of the intention
of one goal and 50% the intention of its opposition.

       After the crossover, and over another long period of time, the
opposing forces keep at each other until eventually and sort of in the shape
of an hourglass or a big "X" the guy that started out with the goal to catch
catfish is now fully opposed to anything or anyone that has anything to do
with catching catfish, and the guy who in the beginning was on the side that
was so opposed to catching catfish is now on the other side and fully
embracing the notion that the catching of catfish is now a pretty noble thing
to be doing.

       Well, there you see it.  So at the beginning and at the bottom of this
GPM, we had the bottom terminal and the bottom opposing terminal, and some
long time later and completely forgotten we have the original guy now in full
opposition to that which had been his original goal, and the guy who opposed
that goal is now in the top terminal, fully embracing it.  Now that is quite
a story, and it can encompass a period, theoretically speaking, of many
lifetimes -- a lot of living and a lot of places.

       Ron, and the Church of Scientology, managed to do and complete a GPM
in under 50 years, in which Ron and the Church started out possibly with a
goal to help free mankind (this is not intended to be the actual goal; it's
just one possibility).  And of course that goal was opposed by all the
organizations here on Earth that wish to keep mankind ignorant, entrapped,
and blind to the possibilities of self-understanding and freedom.  Well, in
less than 50 years, Ron and the Church went through the crossover and ended
up in full opposition to the goal to help free mankind, whilst many of their
former opponents are actually and occasionally exhibiting stronger and
stronger tendencies in the direction of a better world.

       That's a hell of a Wow, ain't it?  And if I'd had any idea at the time
that much of what I was doing was extending this short-term GPM by fighting
so hard and ruthlessly and relentlessly against opponents, real and imagined,
I'd have probably done it anyway for kicks and the thrill of the game, but I
might have less regret concerning it than I do now.

      In my next posting, I propose to chat about what you can do with this
wonderful tech if you don't falsely claim source or ownership of any of the
things you might run into in doing it.  Let's face it, we came here to free
theta, not to claim it as our own and re-entrap it by calling it "I," "me,"
or any of the other personal groupers.

     I close with the hope that you've enjoyed this reminiscence up to this
point as much as I have, and I'll see you with Chapter 2 soon.
        Love and best wishes,   Phil

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