************************************************************************
The following first appeared in the private email list IVy-subscribers,
which is available to all those who subscribe to the
printed magazine, International Viewpoints.
Posted with permission. See Home Page: http://home8.inet.tele.dk/ivy/
************************************************************************

Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2003 11:59:11 +0100
To: ivy-subscribers@lightlink.com
From: Antony Phillips <ivy@post8.tele.dk>
Subject: IVySubs: An essay - Pleading and a plea
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Sender: owner-ivy-subscribers@lightlink.com
Precedence: bulk


**  ivy-subscribers relaying  **


Dear ivy-subscriber,

I had my first Scientology auditing in March 1954, but my first real 
reality on Scientology as a subject was from March to September 1957. At 
that time I worked in Dublin, Ireland, teaching what was known as the 
Personal (not Personnel) Efficiency course. for 26 weeks. Five nights a 
weeks, I "drew out" of people Scn basics like ARC, tone scale, 
Communication start, change and stop, create, survive, destroy, etc. Twenty 
six times I taught the same material, in new units of time (with different 
people). It was taught in a special way, which probably could be said to be 
based on Socrates, with the addition of Scientology data, like the 
havingness scale (getting each person to contribute), the reality scale 
(writing things "solid" on the black board), Reality (looking for agreement 
by asking one person if they agreed with another person's contribution). My 
inspiration to this was a lecture Ron gave earlier at a conference held in 
the Royal Festival Hall, The London Congress on Human Problems, lecture on 
the 7th October entitled Personal Efficiency.

Teaching PE in Dublin gave me my first major reality on Scientology, as I 
worked on making these things real to ordinary people so they could use 
them in their everyday life. Actually it was my first major clarification 
on what life was about

Since then I have had lots of processing, with certificates ranging up to 
OT IV. But the auditing I get now can best be categorised as Life Repair 
(handling things bothering the preclear in life at the moment). A few years 
ago, I worked with my two auditors, Vibe and Claus, investigating John 
Mace's Upset and Identity processes, with the John Mace's help via 
telephone and email. The result is that I mostly get run on the identities 
that cause the unwanted conditions I want handled (one to many a week).

Recently I went to Vibe for the usual weekly meeting, feeling really down 
in the dumps. Perhaps you know the condition, really down tone where the 
willingness and ability to talk are very low, but at the same time with the 
"urge" to hide (withhold) ones unhappiness, and appear a good example of 
Scientology. My problem was (again) feeling overwhelmed with too much work. 
Usually when I get that feeling, auditing leads to the period (1967 to 
1970) when I worked at Saint Hill, England, and Pubs Org, and life was very 
chaotic, working hours were long, and one was fairly frequently yanked away 
from ones own overwhelmed area to do an "all hands" on somebody else's 
area, often something one was not familiar with.

When Vibe realised what a state I was in she tentatively suggested we run a 
Knowledgism process, instead of the Identity process. Having some great 
admiration for some of the processes Alan Walter came up with, I agreed.

And they were good questions. Imagine my surprise when my attention was not 
on the 67-70 period, but continually went much earlier to the1957 period. 
The period I regarded as my first great win in Scientology.

Here is the fuller story. In early '57, unemployed after taking the 
precursor (trial run) to the comm course around Christmas, I was painting 
the staircase of the HASI premises at 37 Fitzroy Street, London. The 
Association Secretary (highest post in the London Org) Jack Parkhouse 
called me in to his office. Would I take the job of running the Dublin Org 
and teaching the PE course there? Ridiculous, I thought. I was in extremely 
bad case shape, had no reality that processing worked on me, and when it 
later did work, my communication improved a lot without the OCA graph 
rising out of its -100% position. But if Jack asked me, he must think I 
could do it. And who was I to pit my judgement against his? So (shades of a 
brief period in the Christian Church) if Jack (God) called me, who was I to 
refuse. So after sitting in on a PE Course run by John Noble (but not doing 
any teaching or being coached in it). I went to Dublin on the night train 
and ferry (not a pleasant journey at any time).

When I got there I found that the man I was replacing had the previous 
Monday utterly failed to run a PE course, and the 15 or so people who had 
attended were told to come back next Monday (when I would take it). So 
Monday night I had something like thirty people, and no experience of 
lecturing, let alone doing "teaching by agreement" which the method was 
called. I stood up, I think on a stage, unaware of the audience, and some 
how (to my mind extremely slowly and with much fumbling) told of Create, 
Survive and Destroy. The rest of the week I got through somehow, and the 
rest of the 26 weeks, getting better, and actually having fun, learning and 
giving others data. That is the positive side of the story.

Dublin at that time, I understood, had 25% unemployment. There were (I was 
told) two classes, the poor Catholics, and a minority of well to do 
Protestants. Can you imagine which class came to the free PE course to 
improve their chances in life? The finances of the American College of 
Personal Efficiency, as it was called, were based on students of the free 
course, which I taught, signing up for the four week, two or three nights a 
week, Advanced Course. Can you imagine that I found it easy to get the 
requisite minimum number of people to sign up?

We got students by classified advertisement in the two Dublin Newspapers. 
When I arrived, neither paper would take more advertisements from us unless 
we paid in advance, due to the debt we had with them.

Being responsible for making such a thing go right was way above of my 
ability. I soon wanted out, but had the responsibility I had accepted of 
running the place. Every week I wrote a report to Ron and Jack Parkhouse, 
_pleading_ to be replaced. Over the six months Jack sent two auditors out 
to audit me (but I had asked to be replaced!). They were not much good, so 
I will not name them. Once, at midsummer, we had failed to pay the 
electricity bill, and electricity was cut off. Fortunately it was 
midsummer, and we were able to finish both evening courses before it became 
dark and students would have become aware of lack of artificial lighting. 
And when Jack read of it, in my weekly report, I immediately got the money 
and the question "why did I not tell him earlier?".

Finally I was relieved, and was given the shipping job at HASI London 
("Shipping" meant sending out book orders) together with Memberships and 
Tape Library (I had a set of master LRH tapes, people bought a copy, and 
when they had heard it sent it back to me, and I copied, at a small price, 
the next lecture they wanted on to the tape they had paid for. This was 
five days a week 09.00 to 17.30. At the weekends I was very miserable, I 
asked John Noble his advice, expecting him to say "get auditing", but he 
said "get a weekend job", so I became weekend Upper Indoc instructor, 
teaching/instructing) TRs 6 to 9 weekend after weekend for 18 months - my 
second big win in Scientology.

But to get back to Vibes process, which led my attention continually to my 
time of being "Dr. Phillips", Director of the American College of Personal 
Efficiency.

I have often, in meeting people who have only recently met the present day 
"Church" and complained, sometimes quite bitterly of how terrible 
"Scientology" is, made a big song and dance about it not being so bad at 
the beginning. And indeed, in most of my ten years on staff, I had been 
paid a wage about the same or better than when I was a shop assistant. 
But... read on!

The questions Vibe gave me led my attention to that area. And I realised 
the following things that I had not realised before.

Probably Jack Parkhouse did not send a replacement, and made do with 
auditors for a week each , because he did not have a replacement. The fact 
that he fell back on me (the person originally going drew out at the last 
minute as he did not want to leave his girl friend, I was told), could have 
been because he was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I had not thought of 
that.

In those days lots of valuable parts of Scientology were not "developed". 
Thus, I, a person who had never had an executive position or run a business 
(I had merely been a mediocre third optician in a shop), was thrown without 
training, hatting, apprenticeship, into the "hot seat". It was only later 
that Ron bought out loads of policy about organisation, including the ideas 
of training, hatting, apprenticeship, checksheets, checkouts.

There were more cognitions. I would have remembered if I had written this 
immediately -unfortunately I was far too busy :-)

I don't know whether the following is relevant to the first part of this 
essay, but here goes.

As you will have gathered, next March I will have been 50 years in 
Scientology. I am a completely different person, and owe an enormous amount 
to Scientology. I believe I owe my life to Scientology, as I don't think I 
would have lived this long without it (of course exercise, diet, 
alternative "medicine", and much else have played a part - but the stable 
data and auditing from Scientology have made the rest be used and work).

I left full time staff at Pubs Org when my contract expired (1970) but 
continued with auditing in the org, including finally finishing OT III and 
doing a lot of NOTs. But in March 1983, after rather a peculiar set of 
circumstances/happenings, an Ethics Office in EULO (European Liaison 
Office, I think) told me that I was a suppressive person, must leave the 
org and not communicate with any one but her (I was a little dazed by the 
affair, so cannot be certain that she said exactly that).

Fortunately in June 1983 I received a letter from John Hansen, which is now 
called "the Dane Tops Letter". I believe I was the first person in Denmark 
to see it. A little group (the others still officially "in" the "Church" 
met weekly at my flat (secretly). We all had contacts different places 
abroad, and exchanged duplicated reports and papers we had received from 
these people, telling of people resigning from the "Church" and being 
thrown out of the "Church". We set up something called "Det Europæiske 
Informationscenter", with a box number address (Box 78, 2800 Lyngby, 
Denmark) and under that name resent the papers we received to about 40 
people throughout the world, and offered information packs to people in 
Denmark (some one else was doing it for France, England Germany, but they 
did not have addresses for Denmark).

That was 20 (twenty) years ago. About 7300 Days.

It took me time to adjust to the world outside, to re-evaluate things which 
I had been sort of brainwashed (more nicely put, encouraged on a gradient 
scale) to believe.

Helping me in that reevaluation was the fact that I remained some what a 
centre for communication, in about 1985 being connected with a Danish "Free 
Scientology" magazine, in 1991 starting the magazine "International 
Viewpoints", a little later getting on a confidential computer list started 
by Homer Smith, in somewhere about 1997 (I have lost the date) starting a 
still running Internet list (discussion group) for those who subscribe to 
International Viewpoints; taking over one for TROM and starting a few other 
Internet lists.

A lot of data, opinions, views, suggestions, have passed through my 
awareness in 20 /twenty) years. I have thought, and compared, and examined 
and asked questions a lot.

And I want to move on. I have long ago ceased to be concerned (have charge 
on) the high prices the "Church" charges. I have long since ceased to be 
concerned by the fact that the "Church" requires everyone to do a 
Purification Rundown. Why the tone arm is called a Tone Arm, has no 
interest to me ("What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other 
name would smell as sweet.", Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet). It is of 
course obvious to me that those who have recently escaped from the claws of 
the "Church" will have many concerns of this nature. Most of them have been 
mauled, mistreated, fed false data, and "blinkered" (Blinder: either of two 
flaps on a horse's bridle to keep it from seeing objects at its sides). And 
it is only right that they should be allowed to "itsa" these concerns, with 
the idea of getting the charge off. And I'll gladly give a free session to 
those who are somewhat fixated ("have charge") on areas of bad, or peculiar 
behaviour by the "Church" or its minions. It is fun auditing, getting 
results, seeing people cognite, seeing good indicators, relief, happiness. 
But I don't find it fun observing people repeat the same old things again 
and again, apparently without relief. _Stuck_ in the past is not a 
condition I wish to remain long connected to. Using experience of the past 
to build a better future is something I feel really good about.

A goal of Scientology, formulated in "Fundamentals of Thought", chapter 
ten, makes inspiring reading (compare it with this idea of Total Freedom 
some talk about). It is something I still agree with. The goal concerned 
with making a civilisation better than none, or something in that 
direction, seems to me a bit too low a goal, after digesting the Pilot's 
Cosmic History, and I am rearing to get going on a much larger goal which 
will require my putting a good deal more attention on it, and on improving 
my abilities. Which I would like to get on with, dropping some thet 
time-consumers >I have at the present.
...

To be continued in about 20 (twenty) years time.

All best wishes,

Ant

**
Home Page: http://home8.inet.tele.dk/ivy/ - with extensive links to FZ!
**