MOTHER
 
                 Copyright (C) 1992 Homer Wilson Smith
                          All Rights Reserved
 
     While the rest of the world is still screwing around with the
religious high crime of mortality, I for one KNOW that I am Immortal and
have lived before and will live again.
 
     When I finally run across my mother again in this or a future life
I am certainly going to wring her by the neck until she is screaming for
mercy.
 
     Then I am going to give her the paddling of her life.
 
     And when I am done with that I am going to throw her into a bath
tub and scrub her until she is squeaky clean and her skin is red.
 
     And when that is done I am going to stand her in front of a
Heavenly Tribunal, with her hair dripping and her feet bare, adorned in
but a single sheet of white cloth, and we will see if we can discuss the
possibility of her joining the human race again.
 
     Homer