ATTRACTIVENESS The issues of attractiveness are important to any case. People love their cats more than their own bodies or themselves. For men, attractiveness starts between mother and son. Men get their first warm fuzzies about their own body from their mothers. If their mother's look upon them with disgust or frigidity, its going to be hard slogging later. This can even affect the development of the body so it BECOMES unattractive. A man with a chronic defensive or offensive service fac in operation is going to be pretty much crippled in appearance and functionality. Some men can also be sent into higher planes of consciousness by some stellar 'illegally pretty' girls. The shock of the higher plane, along with the shock that the girl 'has it' and the man doesn't can send the man into a permanent dwindling spiral of inferiority. The man is actually experiencing himself, but its under the control of the pretty girl, and when the pretty girl walks away, the man loses it. That makes the man 'needy' which is a negatory to the girl, so its self enforcing. Men also have a hard time finding their own bodies attractive, as they are men, and men aren't supposed to find men attractive maybe, I dunno. It just seems to be that there are lots and lots of attractive girls in the world, but the men all look like boogies to me, except for a very few which I note with due exception. Sometimes I get the feeling that if *I* were a girl looking for an attractive man I would kill myself from the scarcity. On the other hand I find that girls tend to not be as sensitive to physical attractiveness as men are. Men and women are not the same in this regard. If I wanted to be chauvanistic about it, I could say that women depend on men's ABILITY more than men depend on women's ability, so women have evolved to be attracted to ability rather than exquisite looks, and men have bred and selected women who have the exquisite looks. So things have gone different directions between them. Lights = beauty, brights = intelligence. "Daughters get their lights from their father's brights. Daughters get their brights from their father's lights. Son's get their lights from their mother's brights. Son's get their brights from their mother's lights." When young you find the pretty girls hanging out with jocks, dumb, ugly, but strong as hell. Well that's an ability, namely to protect the girl from attact. Later some of them figure out that being smart and having a lot of money is better than being strong, but the guys are still ugly. Once in a while you will find a women who isn't trying to fulfill a survial dependency who will fall in love with some Adonis worthy of her feelings. Anyhow many men, who understand physical attractiveness all too well, but no real clue what attracts women about men, have the distinct feeling that they as men could never be as attractive to a women as the women is to them, that puts them into an instant permanent out exchange. The sensitivity to attractiveness in men, if its like with me, is so well tuned that a man will tell you immediately whether a women is positive, zero or negative. Looking at a negative women is like listening to noise all day long, looking at a positive women is like listening to good music. One is chronic pain, the other is chronic pleasure :) Pretty girls to a man are like comfort food, they melt his body, they make it peaceful, they *HEAL* it, they give it reason to live, to go into first gear and get to work, they make him feel like he can deal with anything, face any future, give his life. Ugly women make him want to kill himself now. If one runs into a truely interstellar girl like I did with one Rachel many years ago in 1985, it will take the man right up face to face with God and light and beauty forever for free. He might even cough up a religion like ADORE to deal with the ascension experience and resulting crash. Hell this girl glowed in the dark from behind when I didn't even know it was her! And she wouldn't give me the time of day. "Dedication to Adore, For Rachel, whose Gorgeous ExCaliper and Magnificent Respect inspired it all, and whom I Adore for EVER, for FREE." Later in the Forgotten Book of the Dead, the dark side of Adore, "Dedicated to the MAG BODS who spit and kicked dirt in my face until I knew they were right. Gorgeous JAPs don't date Christian Wimps because her meat is Kosher, and his meat is crucified." MAG = Magnificent, JAP = Jewish American Princess Now if the man looks at himself but doesn't feel he is positive to himself in his own eyes, he can't imagine that any women would find him positive either. This leads to a permanent depression about women, because he figures women will feel about him the way he feels about negative women and that is just death to him. It is permanent hopelessness, lost the race before out of the gate. So he tries to 'make up for' not being attractive by ...., you fill in the blank with any substitute for attractiveness that might yet attract a girl anyhow. If his life experience is that EVERY women he looks at, smiles at, or says hello to gives him 'A go away you slime ball before I scream for the police or call my dyke buddies to beat you up', then after a while he becomes non functional, won't go outside, won't socialize, won't do anything with his life. Mostly he is just waiting to die to get it over with. When he does go outside, he lives for the brief moments when some pretty thing does smile at him and return his hello, it will make is whole day, restore his faith in life for a few hours. But it won't ever lead anywhere, because he knows this pretty thing smiles at everyone. Its still a win though for him. He wishes all of womanhood were like that. If the only peace he finds in his life are sleep dreams of pretty girls that bring him healing and peace, then his dream world becomes more real and important than his waking world. Of course in his dream world his own body *SOMETIMES* looks more positive in dream mirrors than in the real world, so he holds onto the possibility that he could look that way in the real world too someday. Many people will bring up the issue, but what about the being inside the body? Isn't there an attraction there too? Uh well, what is a being doing inside a body in the first place. OK, some quick thoughts. Most pretty girls have bodies that AS WORKS OF BEAUTY AND ART are far and away superior to anything that the being in the body will ever produce or create as an artist in their lives. Rachel to me was way beyond any art that exists on this planet, including the 5 great piano concertos that move me so that I am also learning to play. I mean music moves me, but Rachel *SENT* me to places of candy land and star drive that I had no clue existed before. She opened up the face of God itself to me. The being in the body was a putz. Almost no one home, at least no one that would talk to me :) I tended to find that over the years, the prettier the girl, the more air headed they were. Once in a while I would find depth in a pretty girl, but mostly the deep ones where the ones that needed bags over their heads. I figured eventually there was a correlation, and I should figure out what it was before I died in this life :) You see rather than HAVE a life, he forms a substitute life of trying to figure out why he doesn't have a life, so perhaps he can warn others in the future to not make the mistakes he made. The point is that I have yet to run into ANY being that had as strong an effect on me as pretty BODIES have. Usually the beings in the bodies were a detraction from the beauty of the body. Many years later when I finally figured out 'what is was with girls', jealousy, I was able to start digging a few females out of their nonsense, and they became of positive value, as beings, to me. They're still ugly though. And THEY hate it as much as I do. In fact they hate me for even being interested in 'pretty girls', the very ones they wish they were. So you get it from both sides. You get whapped by the pretty girls for looking at them, and you get whapped by the ugly girls for looking at the pretty girls too! Homer ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer Wilson Smith The Paths of Lovers Art Matrix - Lightlink (607) 277-0959 KC2ITF Cross Internet Access, Ithaca NY homer@lightlink.com In the Line of Duty http://www.lightlink.com ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 21 Feb 2004 02:12:16 -0400 From: David DeAngelo To: shimon Subject: The Secret Reason Men FAIL With Women The Secret Reason Men FAIL With Women -------------------------------------------------- To safely and permanently exclude yourself from future mailings just click the link at the end of this newsletter. To sign yourself up for this no cost e-letter, visit www.doubleyourdating.info. -------------------------------------------------- As you can probably imagine, I interact with a lot of guys who are having problems with women. And one of the things that I've noticed is that almost every guy that is "failing" with women has an EXCUSE - a "good reason" why things aren't "working" for him. THE SECRET EXCUSE... I have come to believe that most guys who aren't succeeding with women carry around a "Secret Excuse" for why they're not succeeding... a Secret Excuse for failure. For some it's their height, for some it's their age, for some it's their income... and for some guys, it's a reason outside of themselves... maybe it's the place that they live, or where they work. What's YOUR Secret Excuse for why you don't succeed with women at the level you'd like to? If you can, stop right now and write down your own personal Secret Excuse for failing with women. Then, see if you can figure out where that Secret Excuse came from. Did something happen in your life that led you to believe that your Excuse was REALITY? Did you have a particularly traumatic event happen that led you to your excuse? YOUR EXCUSE ISN'T AS MUCH OF A "SECRET" AS YOU THINK Here's the most interesting part of this particular phenomenon... NO MATTER HOW "PRIVATE" OR "PERSONAL" your Secret Excuse is, IT'S VERY COMMON! And guess what? I guarantee you that there are MANY, MANY guys in this world that have overcome your very same situation and gone on to succeed with women. I think that the "Secret Excuse" is our way as guys of making it easier to avoid facing reality... THE REASON FOR FAILURE IS INSIDE OF OURSELVES... IT'S THE WAY WE THINK AND BEHAVE But the PROBLEM with a Secret Excuse isn't the excuse itself... it's the fact that most guys don't know how to OVERCOME their Secret Excuse. Secret Excuses can wire themselves into our minds so deeply that we don't even realize the effects that they're having. If you believe that women won't feel attracted to you because you're, say, overweight, then you won't even TRY to meet women. You'll just assume that it's no use. This leads to even worse problems, like fear of going out, fear of talking to people, etc. When you decide that there is some big reason that is preventing you from even the POSSIBLITY of success with women, it begins to affect EVERYTHING in your life. So what's the solution to this MAJOR cause of failure for men? I'd say that this is at LEAST a two step process: 1) You need to identify your own "Secret Excuse", and you need to look around to find examples of men who have overcome the very same "obstacle", and who have gone on to succeed with women. This will provide you with some real-life evidence that what you're dealing with is not final and irreversible. 2) You need to get an education about women and what makes them feel the emotion of ATTRACTION for men. It really amazes me that you can walk into a bookstore and find a thousand books on computers, but ZERO books on what causes women to feel an instant SEXUAL ATTRACTION for a man. Astounding. But it's true. One of the reasons that I've put so much time, research, effort, experimentation, and dedication into figuring out this area of life and experience is because I really want to be able to explain it better than anyone, and help guys get this part of their lives handled. If you want a WORLD CLASS education about women, dating, and ATTRACTION, then I recommend that you invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. In that program, you'll learn literally HUNDREDS of different concepts, strategies, and step-by-step techniques for making women feel ATTRACTION. You'll learn everything from how and why women behave the way they do, to how women test men and how to "pass" every test, to how to walk, talk, behave, and communicate so you increase the attraction that women feel for you. I guarantee two things: 1) You will learn DOZENS of things you didn't know, and haven't heard before ANYWHERE. I'm not kidding at all about this. I've pulled together information from many different areas... from science to statistics to my own personal experiences getting to know guys who are VERY successful with women and testing what I learned from them. I'll tell you right now, this stuff will make you open your eyes and say "wow". 2) You will be thrilled with what you learn, and you'll get more dates with more women. I guarantee it. In fact, I BETTER than guarantee it. I'll send this program to you MY RISK, and if you don't like it, just send it back to me and don't pay. I really feel that this is the way things should be - you ONLY should pay for and keep things that you get value from. And think about it, if you don't get value, then why should you have to pay...? This offer is 100% serious, and it's "no hassle". Bottom line: Go order your copy. Let me help you get on the FAST TRACK to success with women... instead of staying on the SLOW TRACK. The program is here (and make sure you go listen to and watch the samples on this page): http://www.doubleyourdating.info/ppc/advancedseries ...and if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you really need to get that handled. You can go download it to your computer right now, and be reading it in literally a few minutes from right now. It's here: http://www.doubleyourdating.info/ppc/ebook I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D. P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max. 2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from. 5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com ...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks! -------------------------------------------------- Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. Double Your Dating and David DeAngelo are trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. 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