CO-EXCUSED WITHHOLDS ADO - 1 15 February 1993 Copyright (C) 1993 Homer Wilson Smith All Rights Reserved An OVERT is something that you do to another that you later regret or feel guilty about. You can regret it either right after it happens, or later, or even after you die and see what you have done. Overts lead to a desire to apologize for the wrong that you did, but often lead to a fear of punishment resulting in WITHHOLDING the overt and not talking about it and refusing to give the apology or to make your heartfelt amends. This leads to pain within oneself because one feels forbidden by fear to do what one wants to do and knows is right. A MOTIVATOR is something someone does to you that you wish they would regret or feel guilty about, apologize for and perhaps make amends for. Usually however the perpetrator will not-is or justify what they have done to you which really pisses you off, so you are provoked or MOTIVATED to commit an overt on them of like kind. Motivators lead to retaliation. Soemthing done to you, leads to you doing something back. NOT-ISING means 'it didn't happen', when it did. Not-ising does not mean suppressing or forgetting, although these result from not-ising. Not-ising simply means and only means 'IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!'. It's trying to nail something out of existence. One applies enough force, hard enough for long enough, to bury out of sight a certain section of your memory time track. Then the part just before the event is connected to the part just after the event to make it look like the intervening event didn't happen. If you have headaches you are not-ising the hell out of something. REGRET is a wishing that you had not done something or a wishing that something had not happened. It is the effort to UNDO something, to put the brakes on time, to STOP TIME COLD, to turn time back, to make the event never have happened. It results in NOT-ISING the moment of time in your memory when it did happen. JUSTIFICATION is finding something that someone did to you either before or after what you did to them which you can then use to make yourself feel better about what you did to them. Justification covers the regret and removes the need to apologize or make amends. Justifications also stick you for ever more with the memory of what they did to you because you continue to need it to feel better about what you did to them. Justification is a willingness to trade off feeling eternally guilty for feeling eternally angry. The only solution to this mess is a complete confession of the original overt. The way to happiness is a true confession. If you are unable to find anything the other person did to you that justifies what you did to them, you will take things they did to you which DID NOT BOTHER YOU AT THE TIME and suddenly turn them into BIG DEALS, or you will wait until they DO do something bad enough to you to justify what you did to them. If they never do, you will take steps to PROVOKE them into doing something to you so that you can have your justification. Guilt can be very patient and cunning when it comes to these things. A DED is an accidental or intentional overt that you do to someone else, which is regretted because it has no justification. A DEDEX is a motivatior that someone does ot you, that comes long AFTERWARD the DED that allows you to justify and feel better about the unconfessed DED. Usually the DEDEX is something small and otherwise would have rolled off your shoulders, but because of the earlier DED screaming for justification, the DEDEX is magnified way out of proportion to make it big enough to fit the DED it is justifying. This is a major deceit. DED stands for DEserveD overt, because it wasn't but the being who committed it is now forever trying to find a reason to make it deserved. DEDEX stands for DED EXPOSED, the minor motivator LATER becomes blown into a huge thing because of the major overt (DED) prior. Because of the time and logic reversal, using something later to justify something earlier, rock solid persistence ensues, and the being seals his own tomb with a persisting withhold of magnitude. If the DEDEX IS as big a the DED, the DED/DEDEX pair can become a CO EXCUSED WITHHOLD as described below. A WITHHOLD is not communicating about something, it's a not talking about something, a not saying about something, a not wanting others to know. A WITHHOLD is also something you are restraining or withholding your self from doing either for the first time or again. It usually results from having done something the first time, regretting it, wishing you had never done it and swearing to never do it again against all kinds of forces internal and external pressuring you to do it again. A MUTUAL WITHHOLD is when two or more people in a present time group have the same series of overt acts and withholds. When such people act as confessors to each other, they fail to get the other guy's withhold because they have it themselves. It's a form of implicit tacit consent to not talk about some common wrong doing because it isn't even considered a wrong. The Church of Scientology is a massive cesspool of mutual withholds, people all doing the same wrong thing, but since everyone is doing it, it's ok and not necessary to confess. You don't confess eating breakfast, you don't confess smoking cigarettes, and you don't confess pressuring people to spend money they don't have on services. A MISSED WITHHOLD is a withhold that you are wondering if others know you did or not. It's also a withhold that others almost found out you did but they didn't find out, a close call, they MISSED IT. It's a withhold that has been restimulated but not pulled, that is to say you were consciously reminded of it, but AGAIN did not get it off your chest. MISSED WITHHOLDS result in a constant WONDERING if you have been found out or will be. This self induced worry keeps them in chronic restimulation. This results from the continuous scanning and rescanning, without relief, of your mental image pictures of the moment the withhold was missed to see if you can see if there is any evidence that the other guy really found out or not. A WITHHELD MOTIVATOR is something that someone did to you that you are not talking about, are not complaining about and don't want anyone to know about including yourself. It is silently or even obliviously suffering an injustice of magnitude. WITHHELD MOTIVATORS result from CO-EXCUSED WITHHOLDS. A CO-EXCUSED WITHHOLD is when someone does to you in this life what you did to someone like you in a past life. It's a withheld overt motivator pair, where BOTH are withheld and have sunk out of sight. For example, let's say in this life you are an adorable 3 year old little boy and one night your mother breaks your father's favorite vase stumbling around in a drunken stupor. Later your father comes home and demands to know who is guilty for this misdemeanor. Your mother angrily points the finger at you, and you get a beating. You scream at your father that your mother lied to him and really she did it and then he beats you even more for lying and saying such horrible things about your wonderful mother. It's enough to piss you off, right? Well that's a motivator and if that were all there were to it you would keep screaming and yelling bloody murder until the truth were known, your mother confessed and amends were made even if it took you 50 years. However 2 lifetimes ago, or 20,000 life times ago YOU were such a drunken mother and you broke your husband's favorite vase, and when he came home you pointed your finger at your cute little adorable 3 year old son, and he got the beating of his life, only this time the little boy died from an accidental head injury at the hands of his father. The father is taken away to jail and you are left ALL ALONE with a ruined future. You are grief stricken and eventually commit suicide as you can't stand the sight of yourself. But in all this you NEVER told the husband the truth about who broke the vase! And you hope to hell he never finds out and you just wish the whole thing would go away. Needless to say in your future lives, that particular life won't be all that visible. But then in this life you ARE that adorable little 3 year old boy and this whole scene comes down with your mother blatantly pointing the finger at you for a crime that she knows god damn well you didn't commit, and suddenly you feel GUILTY AS HELL. You are supposed to be feeling angry at the blunt and crass injustice that your mother is perpetrating on you but NO! you feel guilty! Why? Because your prior withhold AS A MOTHER has just been restimulated, you have just been reminded in no uncertain terms that you are guilty of exactly the same crime. YOUR WITHHOLD OF MANY LIFE TIMES AGO HAS JUST BEEN MISSED! Suddenly INSIDE WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE, you are surrounded by the sad wonderful beauty of the child that you did such wrong to so long ago, you remember instinctively that there was DEATH involved when YOU did it, and right at this moment you are not so sure how the present scene is all going to work out. In the moment of your anger at the present time injustice coming your way, you are also in the middle of your guilt for the past track injustice you sent your child's way. At this moment you say QUIETLY to yourself and your parents, 'Well if you guys EXCUSE me for what I did long ago, I will EXCUSE you for what you are doing to me now.' You see there is a NO COMMUNICATION on this, it's a 'if you won't talk about what I did, I won't talk about what you are doing.' Thus you take your beating QUIETLY, not a whimper out of you, and you go to your room afterwards like a well chastened little boy who took his punishment like a man, but who got away with murder anyhow. Your anger at your mother as a little boy in this life is balanced by your guilt AS a mother ABOUT a little boy in a past life, and both feelings sink together into numbness, apathy and oblivion. You just wish the whole thing would go away. Thus in later years you look back on your parents with great fondness wondering at what wonderful people they were and HOW LUCKY YOU WERE TO HAVE THEM. However you can no longer feel love or hate, anger or regret, you can't cry and you can't remember a thing. And your past lives are gone to you, and eventually you come to think you live but once and die, longing for the peace of annihilation. Your attitude is exactly, 'Who would want to live forever?' You have had quite time enough for love. For you love = anger + regret + failed apology. You see every time you feel anger for your mother for the rude things she did to you, you also feel love for the little boy you did in on the past track. Every time you feel anger at your mother in this life time you feel regret AS a mother for that same past lifetime. I mean YOU are still walking around, that is more than you can say for YOUR little boy so many life times ago, right? So your feeling is that you should let bygones be bygones lest you be reminded, by fighting your own present time injustices, that you are guiltier in your own mind from a past life than anyone could ever possibly be towards you in this life. Co-excused withholds are the sole source of the deteriorization of the mental health, happiness and stability of an individual, Co-excused withholds make your future seem DARK and your memory GONE. Co-excused withholds ARE DED/DEDEX sequences with the exception that the being smiles through the DEDEX rather than complains bitterly. and hopes both DED and DEDEX sink quietly and unnoticed into oblivion. They become skeletons in the whole track closet. One way to run them in session is as follows. 'Get the idea of withholding anger in this life.' 'Get the idea of withholding regret in a past life.' 'Who do you still want to murder?' 'Are you refusing an apology?' 'What has a mother done to you as a son in this life?' 'What have you done as a mother to a son in a past life?' 'What has a father done to you as a daughter in this life?' 'What have you done as a father to a daughter in a past life?' 'What question did your parents make you forget in this life?' 'What question did you make your child forget in a past life?' Of course at first you are going to get all sorts of things the person is just screaming mad at his parents for, oh they did this to him and they did that to him etc etc. But THESE are not what is wrong with him because he is yelling about them so loud. A co-excused withhold is QUIET. A co-excused withhold is a WITHHELD MOTIVATOR. He's not talking about it, he doesn't want you talking about it, and he doesn't even know he's not talking about it any more. He doesn't know how hard he has been hit because he doesn't want anyone to know how hard he has hit others. That's why you can't remember being a baby, or walking around in diapers, or learning to talk, or suckling on your mother's breast or even your bottle. THAT area is RIFE with deadly quiet co-excused withholds, and that area is where you will find the sources of your headaches, eyeglasses, lack of memory, despair, black future, and one life outlook. What blacker future can their be than in a grave as worm food? That's not your fate, that's the fate of the shell of your body. Even your body's millions of genetic entities get another life, you all do. Eternal consciousness can not die. So cheer up. But you can't cheer up unless you cough up. And besides the material part of your body WANTS to be worm food. It's a form a usefulness to the cycle of nature. So look to those areas that you can't remember in this life. Each one will be balanced by an area you can't remember in a past life. You can't remember HAVING a mother and BEING a baby? Well then you also can't remember BEING a mother and HAVING a baby. They say we all have a cross to bear. That's it. Of course fathers do bad things to their sons too and mothers do bad things to their daughters. But the cross sex charge is very important. One reason you can't get out of your body is because 'I am a boy and I have NEVER been a girl', or 'I am a girl and I have NEVER been a boy.' This also accounts for much of the loss of your whole track memory. Half of it is of the opposite sex to that which you are now hiding in. And a good deal of it is memory of in between lives where you were neither boy nor girl studying the mess you had made as a boy and a girl. You are not a body, you are IN a body pretending to BE a body. It is one thing to have, own and control bodies, or to permeate one or more bodies completely, it is quite another to think you ARE a body. That's like the TV thinking it is a horse in the TV show. Once you run off the co-excused anger and regret between being a son with a mother in this life and being a mother with a son in a past life, or being a daughter with a father in this life and being a father with a daughter in a past life, you suddenly KNOW that you have been both sexes. Thus you realize very quickly that you are not only a trans life time being, but also a trans sex being, and this leads to easier exteriorization from your present body and its present lifetime. It also allows you easier interiorization into other bodies or other BEINGS of your choice of any sex. It allows you to BE others because you are willing to BE yourself, who you were and who you will be. You can be the baby or you can be the mother throwing it out the window. As long as YOUR OWN HANDS are clean in the matter and your confessions kept up to date, you can come and go into any one else's scene that you might find as you please. It becomes just so much universe going on to you. As long as you are not guilty yourself in the matter you can even pass through it without any convulsive need to DO anything about it. You couldn't possibly DO anything about everything bad going on in the universe anyhow, and in fact it is this necessity to DO something about everything bad in the universe that prevents you from wandering freely through it. It's just too much of an overload and you know it. Better to park yourself in a head and stay there, at least you have an excuse for not being able to clean up everything there is. Theoretically this would ultimately lead to being able to travel in space AND TIME anywhere in the universe at will merely by moving there, as there is no where, no when, and no one, you would be unwilling to be or have been. You can also be more than one person or being at once if you can span it. Do you want to live forever? How about if you could rest for as long as you liked when ever you wanted to in Eternal sleep? Homer ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer Wilson Smith This file may be found at homer@rahul.net ftp.rahul.net/pub/homer/act/ADO1.MEMO Posted to usenet newsgroup: alt.clearing.technology