Leaving and Leaves Revisited

Christine Norstrand

People don't leave because of overts or even out int. People don't say
they're leaving because they want to spread upset.

People leave because their needs aren't being met, needs that haven't been
met for months and years. People say they're leaving because they want
someone to see that they're failing at the post/ the relationship / the
purpose. 

The needs that aren't being met are core needs, needs that can't be ignored
or made nothing of indefinitely.  Those core needs are - having basic
survival needs met  - doing something that matters  - doing something
beautiful - controlling the execution of what one is doing - seeing a
result - getting a sincere acknowledgement

You can clean up O/Ws and do repairs, but those address case.  But
conditions apply -- the person goes into non-existence in regard to a
person, organization, or activity when she is bypassed too long.  Poof!  

Basic survival needs -- well, in order to continue to help others survive
it is necessary to survive yourself.  Yes, a being can't do anything but
survive, but that's absolute, not contextual.  A place to sleep, real food,
some friends, time with your true love.  You can make someone wrong for
having needs at all, but what it comes down to is That's how the game is
played.  

You can get a lot of mileage out of doing something that you consider
worthwhile.  On my last post, which I still miss, doing something
worthwhile kept me going for a long time.  I made all kinds of compromises
in integrity (seeing what others told me to see, Code of Honor breaks) in
order to continue doing that.  

Also, beautiful is worth doing just for itself.  Beauty audits the body
politic by the mere fact of its creation and existence.  And sometimes my
post was beautiful.  How many beautiful staledated programs are out there!
But I saw so  little or no results -- pcs abandoned because they were out
of money.  And a pc abandoned at Narconon is back on the streets and alone
because Narconon was often their (and their family's) last hope.  Of
course, there was the down side of beauty -- cockroaches in the walls, a
bad part of town, and clipboard maniacs from Social Coordination goose
stepping through, compassionless, with tunnel vision toward production.

In a lot of situations, you can control as long as it goes right, as long
as you don't miss.  If we taught kids things that way, they'd still behave
like infants (uh oh, we *do* and they often do.) It really doesn't even
matter if stats continue to go up -- if you exist too much, are too there,
if the environment is overcontrolling, then someone will accuse you of
false stats.  Programs and organization are good things -- but if one lives
life off a program, off of targets and a single goal, well, what happened
to the present?  What happened to communication?  How many staff have
listed "fear of my in-basket" on their FESAP lists?  

Getting results is important but it's not the *only thing* as is often
promoted.  If you lift your head up from your "doing" to see the result of
the "doing" and there is none, what does it feel like?  When the pc who
didn't get the session was routed out for ethics reasons.  When the love
and sparkle you put into things doesn't create an effect, it's like being
ignored.  It tells you that you don't exist.  It is, pure and simple, an
invalidation.  

As I like to say, everything that is, is communication.  Have you noticed
that when people are out of agreement, their acknowledgements fall out?  We
say "I love you" and want to create beautiful effects that others want to
experience.  And we want them to say "Wow", we want others to see it and
say "Wow".  The "Wow" is another version of "I love you" -- said back to
the first speaker.  What can you say, when your "I love you's" are not
acknowledged?  

You can say, "I'm leaving".  The implied statement is "I don't want to, I
don't see any other way."  And "Let's reorganize this so that it works."
It's not an ultimatum, it's despair.  There's no one in the FZ who walked
into the xchurch with the intention to leave.  

What it isn't is an attempt to enturbulate.  It's just telling the truth. 

~~~~~~~~~
http://www.lightlink.com/xine/

"All you gotta do is change your mind."